JOWETT: Hello again!
JOWETT: JOEL IS BACK!
Cheering from around the room
JOWETT: How are you mate?
JOEL: Better now
JOWETT: Good good. As you know, in your absence, Bean Bag has been filling in for you
JOWETT: There were some rumours, sparked by Mike, that he had killed you and turned you into a rug
MIKE: I never said rug, just kidnapped
JOWETT: Well either way, your back
JOWETT: However! A lot of people loved Bean Bag as a guest on this and BB himself has suggested he should carry on taking your place
JOWETT: We thought about it and decided, in the interest of fairness, to put you through a quiz. If you pass the quiz you will retain your place and Bean Bag will go back to spending his lunchtime at the home for abandoned cats
JOEL: Err yeah. What are the questions on?
JOWETT: Just one’s we came up with, some are stolen from the Weakest Link I think. I’m confident you will do okay. But, in the interest of fairness, we will be fair to Bean Bag and help you
JOWETT: Okay first question. Hallie Berry was in a film called ‘Monsters ……..
JOWETT: YEP! Next question. What was the name of the child in the ‘Jungle Book’?
JOEL: Errr (Pause) Jim?
JOWETT: Yeah yeah, finally, who was the second person to walk on the moon?
JOEL: Ah! Errrr b b buzz err buzz….
JOEL: Buzz, Buzz (Pause) Buzz Lightyear?
JOWETT: Yes! It is! Welcome back Joel, you have retained your space on this blog!
RYAN: Honestly thought he was going to get that last one
MIKE: And me
JOWETT: Ahhh back to normal. Right I wanted to talk about the last post
MIKE: Which bit?
JOWETT: Well In the last post we talked about the modern cultural issue’s missing from ‘Harry Potter’
MIKE: Yeah, while you were gone, Joel, we talked about high brow stuff!
JOWETT: Get out Mike! Your contribution was claiming that “Iraqi looking wizards, jumping barriers at train stations would get shot”
MIKE: I never said ‘Iraqi looking!’
MIKE: I DIDN’T SAY IT!
JOWETT: WHAT DID YOU SAY THEN?
MIKE: …..’black mate’
JOWETT: Anyway I was going to say, that we forgot to mention that the character ‘Dumbledore’ was gay
MIKE: (Tuts) Shut up
JOWETT: He was mate, J K Rowling admitted it! I mean they didn’t discuss it in the book or films
JOWETT: They never had a scene where Dumbledore was in a string vest and leather hot pants hanging around outside public toilets
MIKE: It never came up in the book? The other wizard teachers never said anything?
JOWETT: (Laughs) No mate, they were quite liberal
MIKE: So are you saying being gay is an issue ? Oh you make me sick!
JOWETT: Shut up, it’s not an issue. I’m just saying, it’s a modern factor. 1 in 3 people are gay, so she thought ‘Well I better make one of them gay’ and therefore chose the dominating father figure of thousands of children in a school
JOWETT: (Laughs) Look at management with his hand hovering over the PING button wearing a confused look on his face trying to decide wether there was something wrong with that last sentence
MIKE: Made some comments today haven’t you!
RYAN: To be fair, Mike, you have spent the week trying to ‘out’ one of our technicians
RYAN: He has decided one of our technicians is a closet homosexual
JOWETT: Who? And based on what?
MIKE: Callum, and based on the fact the evidence is stacked against him!
JOWETT: For legal reasons can you just point out that you haven’t got a problem with him being gay
MIKE: Well obviously. But I think he is but he’s hiding it. I’m honestly just trying to get him to be himself!
JOWETT: Pfft come off it
MIKE: Nah Iv got a bet on with someone
JOWETT: Well he doesn’t look gay. For the readers Callum is a chubby lad with longish brown hair. Give me reasons for you suspect him to be gay
MIKE: He likes ‘Westlife’
JOWETT: Fair enough
JOWETT: I’m joking, you can’t base it just on that fact
MIKE: Erm he get’s his eyebrows waxed
MIKE: AND! He has his nipple pierced. When I called him on it and said it’s gay, he said “It’s not gay, Nathan off One Tree Hill has his nipple pierced”
MIKE: Saying THAT makes you gay
JOWETT: This sounds like bullying
MIKE: Whatever! I remember once you said he looked like a diabetic Justin Bieber!
JOWETT: (Laughing) that’s not true
MIKE: It is
JOWETT: Stop it now, leave that lad alone and let’s move on. I’m going to try to claw back some normal innocent chat. Erm, Ah, on Twitter, someone I was following was asking people what is their favourite romantic movie scene of all time. Mike, a chance to redeem yourself, what is your favourite romantic movie scene? Show your nicer side
MIKE: Erm (Pause) The shower scene in ‘Schindler’s..
JOWETT: RIGHT THAT’S IT FOR THIS POST!
PING PING PING
JOWETT: IT’S OKAY IV’E GOT IT! It’s goodbye from everyone here, maybe forever thanks to Mike. Maybe we will see you next week! Goodbye!
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