2 WEEKS AWAY……..
Unlucky Artist: Volume 1 – Script List
Posted: October 10, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, Controversial, Entertainment, Humor, life, music, News, Unlucky Artist, Writing
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Unlucky Artist: Volume 1 – SNEAK PREVIEW 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: October 3, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, music, News, random, thoughts, Writing
The launch of the free e-book ‘Unlucky Artist: Volume 1′ will be available three weeks today! To celebrate, here is another sneak preview.
Enjoy! ——————> UNLUCKYARTIST
UnluckyArtist
Unlucky Artist: Volume 1 – SNEAK PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: September 18, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, Musings, News, random, thoughts, Unlucky Artist, Writing
It’s been a while since I gave you all a update so I have decided to give you a little sneak preview of the e-book that will be released next month.
Here is the link to the exclusive preview! -> UnlcukyArtist
Tumblr account
Posted: August 24, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, E, Entertainment, Humor, life, News, random, Writing
We tried Tumblr before and massively failed at it. So we are trying again. If you have Tumblr, follow this page. It will give new information about Unlucky Artist: Volume 1 and a few previews here and there.
Other exciting developments today that could involve animation. Won’t say too much because it’s brand new but it’s something to leave you pondering
Cheers
NEW PROJECT REVEALED
Posted: August 22, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Celebrity gossip, Comedy, Controversial, Entertainment, Humor, Interviews, life, News, random, thoughts, Unlucky Artist, Writing
Well you have all be waiting very patiently and I think I’m ready to explain. I have been very busy since last Christmas sorting out this and that for different projects. I was originally scheduled to write a pilot for a production company and it was going to be shown on British television. This was axed due to different issues, mainly on the part of the production company. I went back to the drawing board and knocked a few ideas around, until I decided to return to the blog world and give something back to the fans that got me this far. So to you, I give you…….
UNLUCKY ARTIST: Volume 1 is a collection of scripts and comedy plans that were meant to be shown on TV. Instead I will be releasing them online as a e-book, for free. It will include a new spin on the Imonthebandwagon blog as well as brand new stuff. You won’t have seen anything like this before. It’s the comedy writers equivalent of a mix-tape and I will be putting it online on 24. 10. 12.
I know it seems a long way off but there are still things to sort out and I need to make sure it is as good as it can be before it goes out. There will be sneak previews here and there and I will keep everyone updated on any news. I will send out updates through Twitter, Facebook and imonthebandwagon.com. There will be a Tumblr page set up that will be exclusive from imonthebandwagon and will give details about the project.
It MAY signal the end of the Imonthebandwagon concept, I don’t know what the future holds for that. But it will give birth to new comedy that you just won’t find anywhere else.
Go nuts, Reblog, Retweet and Facebook it. UNLUCKY ARTIST: Volume 1 is coming
ANNOUNCEMENT THIS TIME TOMORROW
Posted: August 21, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, Musings, News, random, Writing
There will be an announcement this time tomorrow. All we be explained. BIG NEWS
Spread it. Facebook, Re-blog it, Retweet it, tell everyone to get their eyes here tomorrow at this time. ALL will be explained
New project to be released soon!
Posted: August 6, 2012 in Unlucky Artist NewsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, News, News & Gossip
As most of you know, there hasn’t been a lot of activity from the IMONTHEBANDWAGON camp due to commitments on other projects. But now that is finished we will be back shortly with something brand new which will be MASSIVE. It is currently in the development stage so more information (along with release date and name) will be given throughout the next few weeks.
For now I can say it will involve a bit of what keeps bringing you back to IMONTHEBANDWAGON as well as completely new stuff
Spread the word, tweet it, Facebook it and speculate all you like!
Keep an eye out for more information
Sponsored by ‘The Comedy Bin‘ – “The platform for aspiring stand-up comedy’
Disturbing The Peace
Posted: July 3, 2012 in Band ConversationsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, News, random, Writing
RYAN: What’s this for again?
JOWETT: Just a catch up
MIKE: Why does it need to be recorded?
JOWETT: I was going to put it on the blog. I’ve researched stuff to talk about
MIKE: Nah
JOWETT: Sorry?
MIKE: Can we just have a normal chat without it being recorded? We have been getting on well lately. This is going to ruin it
JOWETT: (Tut’s) These conversations have never made you fall out!
RYAN: They have actually
JOWETT: When?
RYAN: Apparently I said something about Mike that upset him. A few days later we were in the studio and Mike had to take me to one side and warn me about it
JOWETT: (Laughs) He took you to one side?
MIKE: YES! There was no one else in the room, that’s how upset I was about it!
JOWETT: Okay I will try and set any of you up for ridicule. On a different matter, I have done some research on Mike’s family tree
MIKE:….Great start
JOWETT: Problem?
MIKE: Well you have obviously done this to make a fool out of me and my past
JOWETT: I promise you, I haven’t
MIKE: What have you found then?
JOWETT: You never told us your grandfather used to be a hairdresser?
Ryan sniggers
JOWETT: Ryan!
RYAN: Sorry
MIKE: Yeah it’s true, so what? Nothing wrong with that
JOWETT: Nope. And your great uncle was a dancer?
MIKE: Err yeah, that’s true
JOWETT: Your great grandfather…..was a florist
Ryan laughs
MIKE: Tell him, Jowett! My family was hard!
JOWETT: (Laughing) Stop it, Ryan
RYAN: Oh come on! Your family tree is full of effeminate jobs!
MIKE: It’s not!
RYAN: Is George Michael your dad?
MIKE: RIGHT! Jowett, keep going until you find something good
JOWETT: Your great grandfather was a deserter in the war
RYAN: Priceless
MIKE: I said good, Jowett!
JOWETT: Your Great great Aunt was married to a miner
MIKE: HA! GUTTED! My family isn’t full of girly men, because you have to be tough to be a miner
JOWETT: Sorry, I meant to say your great aunt was married to a minor. The boy was 12 when they started their relationship
Laughter
MIKE: I don’t want to know anymore
JOWETT: Luckily, neither do I
MIKE: I don’t understand it. This is why my ancestry was kept from me. I was hoping these was at least some sort of hardcore army officer!
RYAN: It comes to something when your hoping one of your ancestors was a Nazi so your not a laughing stock
JOWETT: SO WHATS NEW?
Laughter
JOEL: I have a new pet
JOWETT: I heard! Is this because of the advance you all got?
JOEL: Yeah
JOWETT: What is it?
JOEL: Snake
JOWETT: Really? How much?
JOEL: 300 quid
JOWETT: That’s not that bad. What’s it’s name?
JOEL: Chris Brown
Laughter
JOWETT:…….Your snake is called Chris Brown?
JOEL: Why?
JOEL: Dunno. The place I bought it from named it that
JOWETT: And you didn’t think to ask why?
JOEL: They said they would give it to me for 300 if I didn’t ask
JOWETT:………..Okay, probably best
MIKE: I bet I can hazard a guess why it’s called that
JOWETT: Mmm I don’t think you can (Taps the tape recorder)
MIKE: (Tut’s) Fine. But the money he has spent on treatment for Chris Brown, is ridiculous
JOWETT: Like?
MIKE: He took it to a posh vet’s and they must of seen Joel coming a mile off (Mocking voice) “I’m afraid Chris Brown has got Alzheimer’s”
Laughter
MIKE: So he forked out for treatment, like an idiot
JOWETT: I see. Why didn’t you take it to a normal vet?
JOEL: Because my closest vet has a reputation for touching animals inappropriatly
JOWETT: That’s not true!
JOEL: It is
JOWETT: What vet is this?
JOEL: ********* Vet’s
JOWETT: Now you have just said their name on tape
JOEL: Well it’s true!
JOWETT: It’s not, Joel
JOEL: ……..It’s true I heard it
Laughter
JOWETT: Mmm well, see you in court mate!
JOEL: Whatever
JOWETT: So all this has cost you a lot of money then?
JOEL: Yeah
MIKE: And trying to find female mice in bulk for Chris Brown is expensive, ay Joel
Laughter
JOWETT: OH COME ON!
One Year anniversary special Jowett’s post: Life after the cameras stopped rolling – Trouble with the law
Posted: April 10, 2012 in Jowett's PostsTags: Comedy, Entertainment, Humor, life, music, Musings, News, random, Writing
Hello!
After the success of the last ‘Jowett’s post’ I have decided to do more of them. This on will be focusing on life after the cameras stopped rolling on some of the worlds most popular films. What happened next to in the world of these amazing characters? Well, I’ll tell you….
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The Story
Well you know the story. An eccentric man, Willy Wonker, that owns a spectacular, world renowned chocolate factory and let’s a select group of people inside to take a tour. By the end of the tour, the group has been whittled down to just one 10 year old boy named Charlie and his grandfather. As he was the last child standing he was given the opportunity to help run the chocolate factory along side Mr Wonker, he accepted and they lived happily ever after…
What Happened Next?
Well it turned out Mr Wonker wasn’t a well man. His decision to let a group of random children enter his top secret factory was fulled by a heavy dose of prescription drugs. The period was known by insiders as ‘Will’s mad month’ where he would make knee jerk decisions like sacking an Oompa-Loompa for looking at him “The wrong way”. Anyway, after he made the offer to Charlie, his medication fulled rampage wore off a day later. He couldn’t remember a thing, feared the worst and set up a meeting with his lawyers
WILLY WONKER: I’m sacred I might have done something bad again
LAWYER: I’m afraid you have Mr Wonker
WILLY WONKER: Go on, give it to me straight……
LAWYER: Well would you like the good news or the bad news?
WILLY WONKER: Bad news…..
LAWYER: You have signed over half your equity to a 10 year old boy..
WILLY WONKER: Oh your joking?
LAWYER: The good news is he will be half culpable for the deaths of the 4 children that took place whilst on the factory property
WILLY WONKER:……Shithouse
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the king
The Story
The ring has been destroyed, order has been restored and the crusaders have been celebrated for their efforts
What Happened Next?
After A weeks worth of long drunken parties that go into the early hours of the morning with the rest of the crusaders, Merry and Pippin get back to the shire. Shortly after Merry get’s a visit from the police. An female elf has filed a complaint of sexual assault against Merry. Merry obviously denied the accusations but the Police have to come and question both Merry and Pippin on their whereabouts on the nights of the assault. After giving statements, it was apparent that both Merry and Pippin where in the same place as the Elf. After going over their recollection of the night, Merry started to become worne down and aggitated…
OFIFICER: Once more, I want to hear what happened again at the post ring destruction party
MERRY: (Desperate) I’ve already told you what happened!
OFFICER: I want to hear it again. And see if it matches my notes
MERRY: I spent most of the night just in the corner of the room, I’ve told you!
OFFICER: Well what were you doing in the corner at 1.30am?
MERRY: I dunno, just demolishing another thirst quencher, probably
PIPPIN: ‘Thirst Quencher’ is Merry’s slang for Elf (Laughs)
Merry and Pippin share a laugh followed by an awkward pause
MERRY: He’s joking….
OFFICER: Merry Brandybuck, I’m arresting you on suspicion…….
Pippin was cleared on all counts of sexual assault and it was put to bed. Shortly after Frodo returned he realised the last time he saw his wallet was in Mordor. His reaction could be heard across The Shire
Rise of the planet of the apes
The Story
Dr William Rodman has accidentally created a virus that enhances intelligence in apes. This had led them to break out of captivity and rampage across the world
What Happened next?
After secretly being smug at his backfiring virus, he seeks legal advice on his involvement in the end of mankind….
LAWYER: How can I help you Mr Rodman?
WILL RODMAN: Errr I may have done something bad. And It could get worse
LAWYER: Okay, what have you done?
WILL RODMAN: Well, you see that Gorilla out there, smashing up that Mazda?
LAWYER: …..Woah
WILL RODMAN: Yeah. I did that
LAWYER: I see
WILL RODMAN: I’m in trouble, aren’t I?
LAWYER: Erm
A human corpse comes through the window
LAWYER: Yeah
It didn’t make any difference, mankind was doomed. Will Rodman now lives in New York, in a stolen fancy dress, gorilla outfit.
Race card? There is an app for that!
Posted: March 21, 2012 in Band ConversationsTags: college, Entertainment, Humor, life, News, random, Writing
RYAN: What are we waiting for?
JOWETT: Mike. He’s on the phone
RYAN: Just start without him
JOWETT: Nah I’m going to wait until he decides to not to be a pain
MIKE: Hang on a second phil. You will be waiting a while, Jowett. Sorry Phil, carry on
RYAN: Come on, Jowett, start without him
JOWETT: No! Why are you talking to Phil?
MIKE: (Put’s hand over the phone) He is sorting stuff out for me
JOWETT: What?
MIKE: He’s looking at work that needs to be done to my new house
JOWETT: This can wait until after, surely? This is rude
MIKE:It won’t take long
JOWETT: Put him on loud-speaker, might as well involve him
MIKE: Okay. You are on loud-speaker, Phil
PHIL: Okay
JOWETT: Hi Phil
PHIL: Hello
JOWETT: How’s thi..
MIKE: Bit rude Jowett. I was in the middle of something…
JOWETT: There are no words to…
MIKE: Phil, what did you ask before?
PHIL: Do you want me to add a cat flap?
MIKE: No
PHIL: Why?
MIKE: Because I don’t have a cat
PHIL: Do you have a dog?
MIKE: Yes
PHIL: Do you want…
MIKE: No I don’t want a dog flap
PHIL: Why?
MIKE: I don’t think they exist for a start
PHIL: They do, I have one
MIKE: Really?
PHIL: Yeah, actually had it put in last week. The dog just runs in and out of it all day
MIKE: What dog do you have?
PHIL: Great Dane
JOWETT: A Great Dane? That must be a big flap. Are you not worried someone will climb in and rob your house?
PHIL:…Shi (Hangs up)
MIKE: Phil?…Phil?..He’s gone. Go o then Jowett, you have my undivided attention
JOWETT: Good. I want to talk to you all about the interview you gave, last week, for a magazine. More importantly when asked about the Pussy Cat dolls comeback
MIKE: What about it?
JOWETT: Well for a start, it’s never going to be published
RYAN: Why?
JOWETT: Because we asked them not to
MIKE: I cancelled stuff to be at that interview! What was wrong with it?
JOWETT: Well let’s see. When asked if you knew anything about the new Pussy Cat Dolls you said yes. Why?
MIKE: I can’t remember
JOWETT: Let’s jog your memory. When asked “Do you know any information about the new Pussy Cat doll group” Mike said “I know that there is now enough of them to set up a charity for rejected members”
MIKE: (Laughs) Yeah. I did say that
JOWETT: Which leads me to their next question “Have you ever met any of the Pussy Cat Dolls?” To which Joel replied “Yeah I met one of the old ones. She seemed very bitter and almost threatening. I was scared of her. But I know her quite well now and she’s alright” Joel, you have never met any member of the Pussy Cat dolls
JOEL: I have!
JOWETT: No mate, you haven’t. Then as the reporter obviously got excited at getting some inside information on them, she asked you for some facts about them that fans might not know
JOEL: Yeah
JOWETT: Joel replied “They are more scared of you, than you are of them” No Joel, that’s a fact about spiders
Laughter
JOEL: ….Still applies to them
JOWETT: You clearly didn’t think to stop either when she said “Anything else?” and you said “They will come into your house seeking warmth in the winter” That’s STILL spiders
Laughter
MIKE: Is there a conclusion to this lecture?
JOWETT: Don’t give interviews on info about other pop stars ever again, okay?
MIKE: Christ, fine!
JOWETT: Good!
Pause
MIKE:You haven’t said anything about my new iPhone…
JOWETT: …So?
MIKE: It’s brilliant, thanks for asking. Does literally anything and everything
JOWETT: Brilliant, let’s move…
RYAN: Can you find out what the weather is going to be like tomorrow?
MIKE: Psh! what planet?
RYAN: Mars?
MIKE: Raining, all day
JOWETT: I don’t think that…
JOEL: Can it tell me what Goofy is?
MIKE: There is an app for that!
RYAN: Can it weedle out which members of the private security industry are actually closet homosexuals
MIKE: There’s an app for..
JOWETT: There is NOT and app for…
Mike shows Jowett his screen
JOWETT:…..My god
MIKE: I downloaded a ‘Race Card’ app the other day
JOWETT: What’s the point in that? You can’t use it
MIKE: Meh
JOEL: What’s a ‘Race Card’
JOWETT:…… Untill next time, it’s goodby
Laughter
MIKE: Woah woah hang on. Are you not going to answer him?
JOWETT: NO, no I’m not and neither are..
MIKE: The ‘Race Card’ is a..
JOWETT: Don’t do this, come on
JOEL: I think I know what it is anyway
MIKE: Go on..
JOWETT: Okay but be careful
JOEL: If, say, a black person believes he or she is being taken advantage of because of their race..
JOWETT: Yeahhhh?
JOEL: They can then use the ‘Race Card’…
JOWETT: Yeahhhh?
JOEL: And say “I challenge you to a race because I know I will win, because I’m black”…That’s right, isn’t it?
JOWETT:……Yep. Goodbye!
Laughter
