JOWETT: Here we are again! You alright lad’s?
JOWETT: We got a good response from the last post. People liked Joel’s review of Aladdin. A lot of people, on the email, were surprised about Mike getting wound up because Joel kept getting the monkeys name wrong. He kept calling him Apu from The Simpsons, instead of Abu. But people didn’t expect Mike to know the name’s of Disney characters!
MIKE: Well, I know my cartoon monkeys!……not that I’m saying Apu is a…
JOWETT: You should probably stop there
MIKE: (Laughs) Yeah
JOWETT: Anyway, Joel, I heard you talking to Ryan about a dream you had but I made you stop and save it for this, so take it away
JOEL: Erm it was weird
JOWETT: I don’t doubt that
JOEL: Well I was at home with my family sat around the dinner table and one by one they just exploded
JOEL: And I thought ‘Oh that’s IT!’
JOWETT: (Laughing) Yeah. When family members start exploding, it’s time we start to look at they way we are living our lives!
JOEL: That’s was it really, I woke up after that
MIKE: I just like the idea of the look on his face while his family members blew up around him and he just sat there a threw a mild tantrum “Well you have just ruined this meal now, the atmosphere is terrible”
JOWETT: You had another weird dream before didn’t you?
JOEL: What was that?
JOWETT: Something about a music festival? I think you said you were camping at a music festival and there was a torrential storm with flooding and you said hundreds of people died?
JOEL: Oh yeah. And my tent got wrecked!
JOWETT: Anything else you want to talk about
RYAN: Errmm I was talking to my ex girlfriend, right
RYAN: And she said “You talk about cats a lot on that blog. I don’t like cats” so I said why and she said “They aren’t very loyal”. So I asked her to explain what she meant and she said “When my Nan moved house, her cat refused to move with her”
RYAN: (Laughing) Her Nan’s cat refused to move with her
MIKE: How spoiled is that cat? You just put it in a box and bring it with you. “Come on Tibbles, let’s go” (Daft posh voice) “Err no I don’t think so, I’m going to stay here, thank you very much!”
MIKE: “No no come on now, in to the cat basket” “NO! I wasn’t consulted about this! I haven’t seen the house! I don’t know the area! I’m staying!”
JOEL: I have just got an image of the cat holding on to the to the door frame with its claws and her Nan trying to pull her off it
MIKE: Can you imagine when she finally gets it to the new house “See Tibbles! It’s nice isn’t it?” “…I hate you”
JOWETT: Yeah that is stupid, but please, no more cat stories
JOWETT: You will all probably be reincarnated as cat’s, after you die, as payback
MIKE: (Tut’s) No I wont
RYAN: Well you wont. You will come back as Kermitt’s rectum
MIKE: For what? I’m just telling people what they need to know, those Muppet’s aren’t able to expose whats happening to them. Miss Piggy isn’t being spoken for. Poor little sod can’t even write an autobiography about her pain
RYAN:(Laughs) Write one for her
RYAN: What would you call it?
MIKE: Errrm ‘This little piggy went to court’?
JOWETT: Right, stop it. I want to talk about our position in the comedy blog charts
MIKE: Where are we?
JOWETT: Fourth mate, but we want third. Perez Hilton is above us
MIKE: Oh ah. Perez ‘The Racist’ Hilton
JOWETT: (Laughing) Yeah him. What do you make of him?
MIKE: I probably shouldn’t
MIKE: Because of the PING
JOWETT: Mmm I didn’t hear anything…carry on
MIKE: Why are you about to let this happen?
JOWETT: I want this blog to be top of that humor chart
MIKE: Well , the humor chart yeah?
MIKE: Well, I heard that, Perez Hilton thought ‘Schindlers List’ ….was a comedy
MIKE: He has a punch bag with the faces of black comedians on it
MIKE: He sat watching ‘American History X’ nodding and smiling
JOWETT: Okay okay stop it now. Enough of that smear campaign, that will do. I better wrap this up. management do NOT look happy. Until next time!
Well, as probably predicted I have to point out that Perez Hilton is not racist and does not think Schindler’s list is a comedy nor does he sit ‘nodding and smiling’ while watching ‘American History X’. But please keep singing up to Bloglovin and Twitter