I had somewhat annoyed Mike, after the last post, so it had taken alot of effort to get him to sit down with me and Ryan again to have another chat. This is what happened
JOWETT: Back again! How are we lads?
RYAN: I think Mike is still in a mood after your comments the other day
JOWETT: It was only a joke! come on Mike
Silence for a bit
JOWETT: You not gonna talk Mike? You still sulking Mike? Mike? Mike? Mike?
At this point i turned off the recorder and threatened to release some information about him in a toilets of a certain strip bar in Soho. I also had a moan at his manager and then turned it back on
JOWETT: And we are back! Hello Mike
MIKE: (Enthusiastically) HELLO!
JOWETT: Look at how Mike has picked up! it’s almost as if he has been geed up by threats from his management!
MIKE: Almost yeah
JOWETT: I have decided that the last few conversations have lacked any real stories. And that’s what people emailing in want really
RYAN: Come off it. No one has emailed in about this. How do you know if anyone reads it?
JOWETT: We have a hit count mate. Can see how many people read it
RYAN: How many?
JOWETT: A lot. you would be surprised. Its growing everyday. We mainly get emails asking who you are to be honest. Had all sorts. Anyway give us a story
RYAN: About what?
JOWETT: Anything. I told you the other day to come up with something to talk about. What about the people you have had opinions about, in the past
RYAN: What people
MIKE: Yeah who?
JOWETT: Well since I started touring with you i have heard Ryan slag off Coldplay, Phil Collins, Take That, Morrisey. the list goes on. And Mike’s gripes have been about Paul Weller, U2, Johnny Borrell, The Killers, Mark Ronson, Matalan, Alton Towers, Elmo, the colour yellow and Wales
RYAN: (To Mike) Elmo?
MIKE: I don’t find him funny mate
RYAN: You’re not supposed to Mike. (To Jowett) when we first started out, Mike used to come out with inappropriate stuff during interviews. Stuff that would sound offensive to some
JOWETT: Like what?
MIKE: Hang on!
RYAN: No come on mate, some of it was just stupid. It came to the point where, during interviews, we had to subtly warn him that he was going into dangerous territory.
RYAN: Beatles song titles. If he heard one then he knew to stop
RYAN: A publication took some stuff he said about the Welsh out of context. What did you say again?
MIKE: I said their language was pointless. Or something like that
RYAN: Not so much out of context then. You love all walks of life though really don’t ya?
MIKE: (Laughs) Oh aye. From the little china men to the stoned Jamaican
JOWETT: Enough said!
I’m sorry to anyway that was offended by Mike’s comments. He was obviously joking, but sorry again anyway. If you would like to hear more borderline racism then join the growing subscribers and if you have a question for the lads the email is: firstname.lastname@example.org